Distraction

Over the last six months or so my grief has shifted.  Or perhaps only on the surface.  I am no longer visibly crying all of the time.  But I still do that at times too, just not in front of people often.  People have stopped asking about how I am most of the time.  Probably because they don't see me cry as much, if at all, any more.  I guess they think I'm "better."  But here's the thing, I'm still screaming inside.  I don't have much free time at all, but with any that I do the thoughts tend to drift back to my dead son.

About six months ago I discovered Pinterest and distraction became a primary coping skill for me.  Painting the house, arts and crafts, building furniture...anything to drown out the "my child died" inner monologue while the world around me is pregnant and delivers healthy children.  So here are some of my more recent projects.  Josh is a nice, and smart, husband not to say anything about me and my crafting.  I think he knows it serves a greater purpose for me.

Today I finished a DIY mirror for our downstairs bathroom and this week I made a monogram for our front door.

And yes, our front door needs a new coat of paint.  :)

Here is the start of our gallery wall.  I made a bunch of canvas photos as well as photos applied to wood.  I kind of like it so far.  

I made this piece of art out of butterfly cut outs a friend gave me.  They just appeared on her kitchen table one day, when she had been thinking and praying for me, when no one was in her home.  Yet somehow, over 100 butterflies found their way to her table, and then to me.  

Don't worry, I do still take care of the kids and the rest of the family responsibilities.  Most of the time.  So distraction is my way to healing.  Or at least occupies my mind when the waves of grief roll in.