My Take on Lent

Ash Wednesday is just two days away now, and marks the beginning of Lent. I was raised Catholic and did the traditional pick-something-to-give-up-for-40-days-thing to symbolize the sacrifices Jesus made while he wandered the wilderness for 40 days. As a kid it usually took the form of no ice cream or similar treat. As a teenager I once gave up chocolate and remember thinking that was more of a commitment to sacrifice than past years.

Now 33-years-old and facing what loss is, the true absence of something essential to breathing without pain, (for me, in the form of living without my son) my childhood ways of practicing Lent don't serve my faith with the depth I desire. Last year, being the first year after Ethan died, I remember searching for a way to focus myself and my family. Much of that first year was spent searching. For a way to wake up from the nightmare. For my son's presence in my life still. For peace. For friends who wouldn't let me down repeatedly. For words of validation, understanding and kindness. For healing. (I am still on parts of this search, perhaps they will be a lifetime endeavor).

When Lent rolled around a year ago I took upon two tasks of love, rather than of sacrifice (I felt I was being asked to sacrifice more than enough anyway). Here they are, I really like them and plan to continue them in years to come, in some form. Thought I would share with you all in case they may speak to you more than a more traditional take on Lent.

For me I choose to write a letter to, email or message a friend and tell them what I appreciate about them. I pick one person a day and let them know how I see them, what I love about them. Truthfully, there aren't enough nice things being said to each other, yet the power a genuine compliment holds is impressive. 40 days, 40 messages sent to 40 people.

The kids are still young, so something tangible is a must. All that's need is a wire wreath from a craft store for a few dollars, and some ribbon to start. Each time the kids go out of their way to show kindness for someone they get to select a ribbon and tie it on the wreath. They LOVE it and it has become a tool for positive reinforcement as well as a reminder to bring Christian love into daily life. And I love the evidence of their kindness too.  I started our kindness wreath a year ago and it has grown all year long. Here is what it looks like today, beautiful and full of love!

Remember, Lent is a time for us to center ourselves...to deepen our faith...to draw closer to Jesus and our Lord. It's an emotional time for Christians, filled with the knowledge that Good Friday is to come, but also filled with joyous anticipation that Easter awaits us. We all have our own challenges as we wander this world (sickness, loneliness, financial strain, unhealthy expectations, grief). Maybe we have times where we feel we are wandering our own deserts in life. Lent can be a time to center and find ways to experience the love around us.